New Year, Same Me?

As the days of 2011 count down toward 2012, I sit here wondering if I should make a resolution for a “new me.”  In past years, I’ve said I would exercise more, eat less, be nicer, become more popular…the list goes on, but I don’t think a single one was remembered by January 31, let alone met!

So this year, why bother making another resolution that will just pass and be forgotten?  I’d like to start something new, instead of one big, hard to meet resolution, I plan to use each Monday as a fresh start to a new week and make “mini-resolutions” each week or each month.  They don’t have to be huge, but lots of things that are small can make something big, right?

My first one, to begin on Monday, January 2, is to purchase a planner/calendar and do better at keeping track of appointments.  I’ve always relied on my memory for this and as my memory fades with the affect of brain fog from the pain, I’ve actually missed a few appointments and have remembered a few last minute only to run around trying to figure out to do everything at once.

This just leads to chaos, which causes stress.  And stress, we all know causes increased pain and mental instability.  Even though this is just the first step, finding a calendar/planner that I can keep my things, I have a feeling that keeping track of things, which seems so small, will actually make a fairly significant difference in my life.

I plan to blog about each of my mini-resolutions, so be sure to check back for more in the coming weeks and months!

You Are Who You Choose to Be

You are who you choose to be!

After finishing my first and hardest exam today, I decided to reward myself with a little down time and a movie.  The first movie that seemed interesting was called The Iron Giant I had heard of it before, but had never watched it.  It is about a boy who finds a huge robot and befriends him.  Unfortunately the American Government isn’t so happy with the huge iron man running around eating tractors, cars, and anything else metal and suspect him to be a foreign attack on the states.  It turns out that the friendly robot is highly equipped with all sorts of weapons.  He is triggered by guns after a deer he had bonded with is shot by hunters.  When he sees guns, he thinks of death, and uses his own weapons. When the robot is triggered by the attack of the US Army, he begins to retaliate with his own weapons.  The boy approaches him and tells him “You are who you choose to be,” referring to the option of being a superhero or a villain.  This sentence caught me off guard.  How many times do I use a trigger as an excuse for my actions?  Yet, the truth is, I am who I choose to be, no one else.  I have the power to decide, not my triggers, my illnesses, my friends or family, or anything else.  I have the power to change who I am.  Now the question is – who do I want to be?

~♥~

In conclusion, I’d like to share this quote from The Center for Eating Disorders at Shepherd Pratt

Do you automatically discount all of the positive feedback and compliments given to you? What would happen if you started accepting them? What would happen if you started believing them? Allow yourself to recognize and celebrate your strengths.

I really like this idea and would like to take it to heart and begin to believe the positive feedback and compliments instead of thinking, yes, but, such and such isn’t that great.

[ Photo Source ]

Studying, Stress, and Migraines

Studying = Stress = Flare of Symptoms

The two most stressful weeks in the year for college students have to be exam week at the end of each semester (or quarters or trimesters or whatever).  Unfortunately, stress in people with chronic illness means a flare-up of symptoms.  It helps if you can prepare ahead of time for them and feel confident and ready.  Unfortunately a repeat killer kidney stone left me out of commission for a few weeks in the middle of the semester and I still feel like I’m catching up.

Whether it is the stress, the long hours spent doing make-up work, or just my body being my body, I’ve had a significant flare up of symptoms.  The most noticeable and aggravating one was a week-long migraine including light and sound sensitivity and nausea/vomiting.  After all of the “normal” tactics to squelch the pain failed, I headed over to the health center on campus to see if they could help.  Two trips, three days, and four drugs later, the migraine was still just as bad.  The nausea was helped by one med, another helped with sleep, but none took away the agonizing pain.  In fact, though the med helped me sleep, I had constant dreams about people sawing open my skull, drilling a hole in my skull, etc.

While waiting at the pharmacy to fill one of my prescriptions, I wandered the aisles just looking at the stuff on the shelves.  A small, local pharmacy, the selection is limited compared to what I am used to seeing at bigger stores like CVS, but they have a very interesting Ohio State selection (who really needs an Ohio State toaster or coffee maker?).  I noticed a display that claimed “Natural Headache Relief” in big letters across the top.  Intrigued, considering my current battle with my migraine, I looked at it.  It looked like a small chapstick, but said it contained peppermint and rosemary oil and menthol.  It was only $4, so I decided it was worth a try.  I forgot about it until later, after the medicine I had picked up failed.  I read the directions and it said to apply it to the temples, forehead, and back of the neck.

The sensation of it was a little weird, it was cooling and refreshing.  The smell alone was relaxing and calming.  After applying, I laid down for a bit and couldn’t believe that when I got up and went out in the hall, the lights bothered me so much less.  Sound wasn’t as bad either.  I can’t say the migraine was completely gone, but I would definately say it had downgraded to an annoying headache.

I’ve decided to carry this handy little headache stick around in my purse with my chapstick.  It will be going to my exams with me this coming week too.  I can pull it out and take a whiff if I feel anxious or apply it if I feel tight.  I’m wondering if it would help at all with trigger points in my shoulders too.  I guess it can’t hurt.